Swarm over, Death...............with apologies to John Betjemann...
Really, though. Why, after all these years, is there no regularly seen option to the above junk in toy/model shops. Revell, in exactly similar tins, was no better either.
In the good old days I could stock up on Floquil, of blessed memory and infinitely superior quality, but that had its formula changed and was emasculated years ago. With the demise of Victors, the shop, you can't get it anyway any more. Testors wasn't bad, but the importers no longer stock it and they were within toodling distance of me.
I NEED enamel to coat plastics used in building models as a first coat, then I can get away with gouache and watercolour overcoating, with powders as final colouration, but I would love to approach a stand, designed to be approached, not worshipped at on all fours, which has colour plates on the shelf edges that bear a slight resemblance to the colour on the tin lid and wouldn't it be good if the colour chart was anything other than emergency toilet paper? But the main thing is that it would be nice if, every time I go reluctantly, to buy another micro-tin of this garbage, it hadn't increased its price by another 10p a tin. It is now £1-90 for a tin, so small, that if you actually drank it, you'd barely taste it, much less do yourself any harm.
No doubt it's all part of the inexorable drive to force us to buy that water based crap called acrylic. Now I am of an age where acrylic is clear hard plastic, called Perspex. Not paint for heaven's sake. So Humbrol's second display stand is little more than a huge paperweight to me. Maybe somebody should remind them that their name is a contraction of the Humber Oil Company. Oil! Not pissy water.
I have bought today a tin of silvery grey, which I did by completely ignoring the colour chart and a tiny pot of brick red, which, if I'd have bought a tin called Brick Red, would have been a vaguely milk chocolatey shade of Gawd knows what muck.
They'd better work and be completely matt, or, by God, I will fast become their worst nightmare and enjoy every minute of being so!